20 Jan Becky LaSalle – Bereavement Story
Becky LaSalle, Cooke County resident, shares her bereavement story.
After 30 plus years together, I was staring at a huge black hole the day after Robbie passed away and then the phone rang, and Jolene Senek, Grief Coordinator for Home Hospice asked “How are you?” and I cried. She asked “Can I help? Can I come over?” and I don’t remember what I said, but then she was there on the couch by me and we just talked. At first we talked every week, then every two weeks and then monthly and those talks helped every time to make the black hole smaller and more light appear. I can’t believe how she worked with me over the past year.
In the first few months, I found myself turning lights on around the house and installing new ones outside because I was fearful of staying alone. Jolene helped me to see that it wasn’t fear making me turn on lights; I was really dealing with my grief trying to push away the darkness and that black hole.
Some days I wanted to curl up with the covers over my head, but I couldn’t. I needed to work to keep my house, to pay my bills, to live. I had no idea what I could possibly do; as an in-home day care operator for 20 years, I didn’t think I had any skills to work out of the home, but Jolene helped me see my skills were transferable into the workplace. She encouraged me, supported me and helped me persevere through the job search process, and when I found a good position in an office, she helped me see my accomplishment.
I was concerned about our grandchildren. Other people had said I should find ways for the children to feel better. Jolene suggested I put up pictures around the house about “Papa” and make books to read at story time with the four-year old twin boys. What an excellent idea! It has been a wonderful experience as we talk about Robbie and I am amazed at the things that they remember from when they were two and three years old. We were also able to have one of the grandchildren attend Camp Dragonfly. All of these things have made such a difference as we each work through our grief and loss.
When I called Home Hospice, it was for help for Robbie, not for me. I had no idea what services were available, that there was someone to help with grief. Hospice is not just for dying loved ones, it’s also to offer care and help as you go through that hard time after your loss. When you talk with someone who shows compassion and understanding, who offers healing suggestions and support, you can’t measure what Home Hospice gave me before or after. It was priceless.
